Ladies and Gentlemen your Los Angeles Kings! (drinking game)
As any LA Kings fan can tell you sometimes a good drink is needed to get through a game. Let's face it when you root for a team who's 30th in the league in scoring there's not too much to cheer about. So in order to get through the often exciting 1-0 hockey games me and a few close friends have developed an entertaining way to get through the games.
Remember please play this drinking game responsibly, and by responsibly I mean by getting completely obliterated.
- Pick out a drink of choice for the game. Whether you're a beer lover (like me), wino, or going for the hard stuff it's best to pick one beverage and stick with that all night.
- Pick out which things you're going to drink to. It's best to start with just one and work your way into your alcoholism.
- Have fun, remember that's why you watch this STUPID TEAM!!!!!!!!
Things to drink to:
1. Drink, every time Dustin Brown falls on his ass
- Once if it's after a check, or on a play with any type of contact
- Twice if he's diving
- Chug the whole thing if he's a least 5 feet away from anyone and doesn't have the puck
- Once if it's in the offensive zone
- Twice if it's in the neutral zone
- Three times if it's in the defensive zone aka in front of the Kings net
- Chug the whole thing if it results in a goal against
3. Drink, every time the Kings power play....
- Fails to convert aka score a goal
- Stays completely stationary
- Only takes shots from the blue line
- Fails to enter the zone
- Gets scored on short-handed
- Bonus drink if any of the above happens 5-on-3
4. Drink, every time a player misses an open net
- Once if it's a forward
- Twice if it's a defenseman
- Three times if it's Justin Williams
- Chug the whole thing if it's Dustin Penner
- Bonus drink if the other team has pulled their goalie
5. Drink every time the Bob Miller and/or Jim Fox
- Say something about a player involving: playing against a former team, playing against a former coach, the University of Wisconsin
- Mess up a players name or number. Bonus if it happens more than once to the same player. Another bonus if a players name is completely made up (i.e. Mike Brown instead of Mike Smith). Extra bonus if it's not Bob Miller who said it.
- Advertise a Kings sponsored event.
- Talk about some crappy band playing during the intermission.
- Say something about a "pea" or a "whistle"
- Drink every time Coach Sutter's brothers are mentioned. Bonus if it's during a game not against Calgary. Extra bonus if there's a graphic.
- Drink every time FSW misses a face-off, fight, or scoring chance because they were showing a graphic, going to commercial, or zooming in on a player for no reason. Bonus if an actual goal is missed.
- Drink whenever Jonathan Quick is mentioned as being an All-Star.
- Drink every time FSW shows fans in the stands and they look bored. Bonus if they're yawning.
- Pick a commercial and take a drink every time that commercial is shown during the entire telecast. Bonus if the commercial is that stupid Citi back shit with the lady on the rock with that dumb song yelling at me about leaving a gate open.
- Drink every time Jonathan Quick does something super-human, because he deserves it DAMMIT!!!!
Alright folks there you have it, the Official 2011-2012 Los Angeles Kings drinking game. Is there anything I should add? Leave off? Feel free to leave suggestions in the comments, or send them to me via e-mail or Twitter.