|My Team Captain.|
I recently discovered the "fantasy baseball boyfriend" via Ms.Conduct's article on Backhand Shelf. It's basically a weird teenage girl way to pick players for a fantasy team. There's some shit called a "little black book". Whatever. If people want to do it have at it. I'm all for picking your favorite players for your fantasy team. Honestly they're a crap shoot most of the time, I mean who thought Phil Kessel would be having the season he is? So pick players you like and it at least makes it enjoyable, even if they start to suck. It got me thinking however why not pick a team of all players you hate instead? The anti-fantasy team is always a fun kind of thing to do, you basically pick players that suck and hope that they don't score. Hating on people is just as fun as swooning over them, sometimes more so. So why not pick a team of players you want to shove off a cliff? I usually write about players I love here, but trust me there are a few player I just can't stand. I would love to punch some of these assholes in the face, or at the very least tell them to fuck off. Well I've developed a system for picking the players below. I haven't really figured out the scoring system, maybe something involving douchy incidents, punchable faces, etc. I don't know I'll keep you posted.
- You pick 9 forwards, 4 defensemen, and 1 goalie
- You can't pick more than 2 players from the same team. This eliminates the bias toward teams you dislike and makes you think of players you hate on a more individual basis.
- You don't have to follow a RW-C-LW format. You can pick forwards that play any position, you don't need to form line combinations.
Max Lapierre-Steve Ott-Raffi Torres
Steve Downie-Mike Ribeiro-Shane O'Brien
Ryan Clowe-Ryan Getzlaf-Daniel Carcillo
PK Subban-Andy Sutton
Drew Doughty-Dion Phaneuf
Why did I chose these guys? Well I think more than a few are self-explanatory. Max Lapierre? Well look at this assholes face!
|His face makes me want to punch babies.|
|Lavi is my hero.|
|Die in a ditch.|
|Shut the fuck up!|
Mike Ribeiro is such a bitch.
|Cool mug shot bro.|
|Fuck yea bro you're such a badass.|
|Look at those dumb fucking tattoos.|
PK Subban is the biggest cheapshot artist. Slew Foot City!
Hey Andy, Are you an Expert?
|"Only in Cheap Shots!"|
|Eat yourself to death please.|
Dion Phaneuf is just really punchable.
|WTF happened to his face?|