Sunday, March 18, 2012

Flavor of the Week: Jamie Benn

Flavor of the Week is a feature on OGOP that will focus on one NHL player and what makes him crush worthy/completely objectify him. Warning: this post is girly and shallow! But I promise it will be semi-informative, maybe. This week we will be focusing on Dallas Stars Center Jamie Benn! 

Jamie's teammates rush to congratulate him on this monumental achievement.

It's every ones favorite feature! O yes people it's Flavor of the Week time, and this week I'm slumming it with the "Pesky Stars" (I know. I hate myself already). I just can't help myself I'm into Jamie Benn. Sue me. There's something about him I enjoy on very weird level. It's sort of the same way I'm far too into the Canucks. I know it's wrong, but it feels oh so right. Maybe it's his lack of internal organs, or his tendency to get freak injuries. Whatever it is Jamie has somehow peaked my interest. So let's jump into why Jamie has won me over to become Flavor of the Week.

Some Actual Facts About Jamie
  • 6'2" 205 lbs
  • Born July 18th, 1989 in Victoria, British Columbia
  • Age: 22
  • Number: 14
  • Drafted 129th overall in the 2007 NHL entry draft by the Dallas Stars
  • Nicknames: Bennie(very original, I know)

Jamie is just disgusting, and no I'm not talking about his hair. His moves are just unbelievable. He was such a steal in the draft, it's not even fair. Just look at some of these moves. 
  He just undressed that D-man. Sexy.
I know he's doing this against Columbus, but still OMG!
You sir are filthy. That move was worthy of a bra throw. 
OK you know what maybe just forget that one happened. 

I know how stupid is this shit? OK, maybe it's just stupid to me because I hate the Stars, if the Kings
had this little Twitter love fest would I still feel this way? Probably not, I'd be all up on that man
love. So I will look at this semi-objectively, I did chose this after all. I mean I'm not gonna lie the Stars are pretty awesome on Twitter. Plus Pucks & Pixels made this shirt! If I was a Stars fan I would totally buy this! Sigh.

I'm clearly not Steve Ott's biggest fan, but that is some awesome bromance action right there. Kind of adorable. 

Yep that's a stall in their locker room that says Pesky Stars. I shit you not people.

God those lack of internal organs is soooo sexy! Eric Nystrom agrees.

LOLOLOLOL. You're alright Steve Ott, you're alright.
Why are there feathers? Maybe the Stars have awesome pillows fights. Yes, the Stars have shirtless pillow fights........

No offense but that car sucked.

Shutsy? Oh Jamie you are adorable.

Fact: If you chirp PK Subban I automatically have a lady boner for you.

Haha OK.

There is some serious sexual tension there. Just fuck and get it over with you two.

Yes your greasy flow is in a category all it's own.

Things we've learned. Jamie isn't a Tebow fan. He obvious thinks virgins suck at life. He wants to bang a supermodel.
Strike a Pose!
For some odd reason Jamie Benn seems to constantly be at photo shoots. 
This is from that ultra-weird Stars photo shoot. Still don't get it.

O hey there! No idea what this is for, but thank you for doing it!

O look at you in that All-Star jersey!

You work that camera Jamie.

Look at that hair. God that's greasy flow.

Jamie Benn doesn't believe in buttons.
More Gratuitous Photos
Because hey that's what I do best.
"Hey man your balls are all over the Internet. It's gross dude."

"Hey Pat you wanna go find that blonde and tag team her?" "Fuck yea Jamie!!!"

Fun Fact: You can find pictures of Jamie's butt on the Internet. Seriously some chick just takes ass shots. My Hero.

Look at you with those super skills.

O hey James! Sorry trying to focus on Jamie, yea not gonna happen.

A phrase heard from many ladies in Dallas.

Man he really fucked up Iginla. Shit.

Erik Johnson sucks.

This is the highlight of his career.
I love this picture. I wonder what Jamie did to upset that guy so much. I can't tell if he just scored against his team or fucked his wife. Based on Jamie's face maybe both.

I kind of dig that hair. It's weirdly growing on me.

You know what never mind, you look soooo much better here. Sup baby.
O Jamie has a brother, a sexy older brother.

Hi there! You look great in that suit, but maybe you should be naked later. Yes, naked later.

 Yes It's that time again! It's time to dwell with the lovely ladies over at Jamie Benn's Talk-Sports girlfriend page. Let's see what these outstanding citizens have to say about Mr. Benn shall we?

"Where does he live?"--In your mind.

"a few girls i know got with him only because of who he is and the kind of money he makes"--Color me surprised. 

"i guess the only place he is a beast is on the ice"-- Haters gonna Hate.

"I have met him a few times. Not the nicest guy."--I thought people were usually nice to their stalkers. 

"Um I have allot of pics of us together but why would I have to prove anything to a bunch of psycho stalker girls on a message board idont think Jamie Wants me showing our pics to strangers and psychos :) sorry"--This is just so great. Talks about crazy bitches on a message board telling lies about players, yet tells stories and argues with girls about hanging out with a player on the same board. 

"if this was all true shouldnt he not care if you put a picture up of you two. proving that if he is all yours. and you are telling the truth. 

Because i don't have to prove anything to stalkers behind a computer screen sorry.I don't care if u stalkers believe me or not its ok bc i know for a fact they're just friends nothing more than that. Now Carry on with your life and stay outta his and mine."--This girl has clearly fallen victim to her own psychosis. I just hope she doesn't find me! I may need to enter witness protection.

"I think a lot of these girls are crazy and make up stuff its kinda pathetic none of them know anything."--O REALLY??????

OK Folks that's it! As always if you have a suggestion or request for a future Flavor of the Week leave it in the comments, or hit me up on Twitter!  

1 comment:

  1. I hope he doesn't believe in zippers either. (If you know what I mean.)