Saturday, March 3, 2012

Flavor(s) of the Week: Jeff Carter and Mike Richards

Flavor of the Week is a feature on OGOP that will focus on one NHL player and what makes him crush worthy/completely objectify him. Warning: this post is girly and shallow! But I promise it will be semi-informative, maybe. This week we will be shaking it up a bit and featuring Los Angeles Kings Forwards Mike Richards and Jeff Carter!


O YEA BABY!!!!!!
O yes it's official Jeff Carter and Mike Richards are back together and this time in beautiful Southern California! So ladies of the South Bay get ready for Carts and Richie super fun time! I can only imagine the damage these two are gonna cause, I mean Jeff's only been in LA a week and already a teammates wife has filed for divorce. Now I'm not saying Jeff had anything to do with it, but I mean it's kind of weird coincidence right? These two are notorious partiers, and while some believe that was the reason they were unceremoniously shipped out of Philly, other people (aka bloggers) are looking forward to all the shenanigans these two will get into. These two have one of the most solid bromances in the league, and frankly I'm into it. So let's take a look at why these two are worthy of the co-title of Flavor of the Week!

Some Actual Facts About Jeff & Mike 

Jeff Carter
  • 6'4" 199lbs
  • Number: 77
  • Born January 1st, 1985 in London, Ontario
  • Age: 27
  • Drafted 11th overall in the 2003 NHL entry draft by the Philadelphia Flyers
  • Nicknames: Carts, Cartsy, Cheeto(lol!)
Mike Richards
  • 5'11" 199lbs
  • Number: 10
  • Born February 11th, 1985 in Kenora, Ontario
  • Age: 27
  • Drafted 24th overall in the 2003 NHL entry draft by the Philadelphia Flyers
  • Nicknames: Richie, Ricky
Just based on the facts above it's clear that these two have a lot in common. Both are Ontario boys, they're born a month and a half apart, and both weight 199lbs. Kinda weird right? One thing I can conclude from this is that either Mike Richards is really fat or Jeff Carter has an eating disorder. Maybe lay off that sushi and ice cream a bit there Mike, eh?

The Bromance
Everyone loves a good bromance right? These two share such an amazing love, I mean who wouldn't be into that?
O sorry.....this is awkward.
Richie taking a longing look over at his lover.

I get to see this every game for the next decade. Yum.

These two make it a family affair.


Mike Richards dad gets so much ass.

Come on Mike you gotta share.

It's just a matter of time before these two are involved in a "boating incident".

Aww young love.

It's OK you two never have to be apart again.

It's too bad we won't be seeing any of these adorable playoff press conference pics anytime soon.

I hate sad Cheeto.

This isn't technically driving under the influence is it?

Come on Richie you know not to share super obvious secrets.

Cheeto face is Mike Richards approved.
I bet they have awesome pillow fights.

I ask this everyday.

Get a room you two.
Cartsy Love
WTF is this dog????

I can't tell where the jersey ends and his face begins.

LOL. Whoever did your hair should be punched in the mouth.

Apparently Carter knows Snoop-a-loop.

What is this shirt? Don't you know if you insist on being orange wearing blue is the worst idea ever? Learn the color wheel!

Poor Giroux! You know Carter is behind this shit!

LULZZZZZZ

Lupul slept with Hartnell's wife too?

It's ok you're free now.

I love how the cartoon is wearing that stupid blue shirt too.

Carter has a great troll face.

HAHA poor baby.

I expected it to be bigger.

Angry Cheeto!!!

OK you look good here. Nothing mean to say.

The evolution of The Cheeto.

OK yea yum.

haha it's time to party again Jeff.

Hipster Jeff Carter????
Ricky Love   
Hopefully one day this will come back. O who am I kidding, he plays for the Kings now. LOL

Mike Richards always looks like he's making some smart-ass remark.

Don't look at me that way Mike. I don't owe you shit.

You're so pretty.

Haha that face. 

Mike loves giving the thumbs up.

Amazing.

I hate you....I'm kidding I totally love you. Fuck you....handsome.

Mike's is waaay bigger than Jeff's. Can't say I'm surprised.

Quite possibly the greatest photo of Mike Richards ever.
Woo it's time to see what the crazy bitches on the Internet have to say about Carter and Richards! Yes, It's time to dwell in the disturbing and always entertaining Talk-Sports girlfriends pages! Won't you join me on this amazing journey? 
First up Mike Richards
"what was that quote
mike likes jeff, but jeff loves mike
and its so true (im sure mike loves jeff to, but its more apparent in jeff)
you can see it in all the pictures of them together"--
Yes their love is true and pure. 

"Well if he changes his FB pic to one of him and Jedda we know that he has dumped his replacement cuddle buddy while Jedda was in Ohio"--I have decoded their language, Jedda=Carter. And cuddle buddy is referring to Mike's girlfriend who lives in Winnipeg (her friends are also referred to as the dog pound? It's a compliment I'm sure)

"I dont get why she would even write anything. Most hockey players would get pissed about all the bragging their gf does and end it. Your right about him ending it when carter gets back. Wonder how long it will take"--Carter + Richards =love. In all honesty I kinda feel bad for his gf, she must be shitting bricks about these two being reunited. 

"FB photo is back to being with his bros...she's not gone already is she?"--HAHAHAHA O Mike Richards never change. 


"He's a loser enjoy your meaningless life with that fat faced bit•h"--Hey that's no way to talk about Jeff Carter. 

"OK, I am not her fan by any means but she's far from fat.  Wears too much makeup, absolutely, but I don't think she has a fat face."--I agree Carter wears too much makeup.  


OK now Jeff Carter's turn!


 "That kid looks like he could almost be carts son.. "--Wow he does. "Hi Jeff I'm a big fan, O by the way this is your son!" What an amazing way to drop that bomb on someone lol.


"jeff carter and mike richards and me had a threesome one time before except they ended up getting too distracted with each other...if you know what i mean ;)

now they're back on the same team together i bet this will happen a lot."--LOL, and then you woke up! I'm not gonna lie, if it wasn't for the herpes I'd inevitably get, I'd be into that shit. 


"After reading the dt comments and the infatuation, would you be surprised if he was bi?  Sorry this was on my mind!"--Jeff only has eyes for Mike ladies! When will you learn? 

"I think he'll get serious w/ someone when Mike gets serious w/ someone (and vice versa). Cuz lets face it... no one ever wants to be the third wheel."--From what I've heard so far the girlfriend would be the third wheel. 

"I think their bi, I think having a woman there enables them to to be ok with it, that and alcohol, but then again, I think alot of the players are"--Come on you know it's not gay when it's in a three way! It's the Golden Rule!
First original OGOP photoshop. Bask in it's glory!


I'd apologize for this, but it's just too awesome!

   
So what have we learned today? 1. Crazy Internet bitches hate Mike Richards girlfriend. 2. Jeff Carter may have an illegitimate son in Columbus. 3. Jeff Carter and Mike Richards are not-so-secret lovers. 4. I suck at photo shop. Good Times.

Got any ideas of who to feature for next weeks Flavor of the Week? Leave them in the comments below or send them to me on Twitter @lafreak331.      
       

2 comments:

  1. pretty sure i couldn't breathe for a while from laughing.. thanks :D

    ReplyDelete