Thursday, March 15, 2012

Stupid Shit I Found on the Internet: The Dallas Stars Beauty Shots

OK I find a lot of interesting things on the Internet, but I really have no idea what these are. Don't get me wrong hockey players in suits it's always sexy, but these photos are just plain weird. Maybe it's the weird sepia coloring, I don't know, I'm very confused. There's literary no theme to the pictures either, if anyone really knows what the fuck these are supposed to be let me know. I'm genuinely curious.
What are they going for here? Like a 50's thing? Weird.

What are you doing here Jamie? I don't get it. If these photos are supposed to look old, why is there a modern Dallas building in the background? It does not make sense.
First off Sheldon Fucking Souray my lord! However, I still have no idea what they're doing.

What is happening here? Why are they hanging out in the Haunted Mansion? Disneyland is nowhere near Dallas FYI.

Ribiero always looks like he's sick. And why are you in someones study?

Dallas has a black guy on their team? Wait is he black or is it the stupid sepia effect?

OK what? Yea I have no idea.

LOL is that Steve Ott? hahahaha OK now.

This photo has nothing to do with any other in the sequence. Why are you in a Bond film?

What are you doing here? What's happening?

Where is Burish here? Is he in the plane Morrow was standing in front of?

 1. No one else is even near a golf course in any other photo. 2. What is wrong with your hair?
Seriously I'm super confused. These photos don't make sense together. There is no cohesive theme to the pictures. The more I look at them together the more I just don't get it. Just because you use sepia it doesn't mean the photos look old. Why were these made? Why is Sheldon Souray gorgeous? Come on people help me out I feel like I'm taking crazy pills right now. I need to know why.


  1. These photos are from the Dallas Stars Foundation calendars they do every year. I have no idea what the theme was supposed to be (some photos look like they're staged for the 20's, some for the 40's, some for the 50's?) but that's why the photos were taken.

    1. Thanks for the info! The photos still make no sense, but at least now I know their origin.