Stupid Shit I Found On The Internet: The Zombie Apocalypse Thread

I haven't done one of these posts in a while, and I just couldn't pass up the opportunity to share this.

It's summer, and for hockey fans that means sometimes having to be creative to get through the long days. Over at HFBoards, they are masters of asking stupid questions, and recieving even more stupid answers. Occasionaly though, they can come up with some pretty funny threads. For example, a recent thread was created titled "If there's was a zombie apocalypse which 5 NHLers would you team up with?". It's an interesting question. Do you go for the fatties, so they will be eaten before you? Do you go for the guys who hunt? Well, as you can imagine the responses were varied, and some were pretty awesome. I will now share some of my favorites with you. 

"Burrows, he would eat them all. I dont need anymore"--Just their fingers though.

"I don't know who all would make it, but Recchi is a doctor, right?
He would definitely make the list."--Odds of this guy being a Canucks or Habs fan?


"Hal Gill it is then"--Hal Gill is slow, just FYI.

"Dustin Byfuglien
Big enough to feed a horde and give you a 100km headstart"--Valid points

"needs more token black guy for movie effect"--Racist, yet also hilarious.

"Byfuglien
Wellwood
Doughty
Phaneuf
Heatley"-- Three fatties, and two guys you hate. Solid strategy.

 "And obviously Hall Gill, because he's slow as ****."--Hal Gill is screwed.

"Keith Ballard would decapitate them with his hockey stick lightsab.er (apparently it autocorrects to Sabre)."

"Torres, he always goes for the head."--Touche

"Players that have already been consumed by the virus : 

 

"Giroux because if he was ever bitten he would be to limp wristed to eat me.
Weber because his contract would run through the end of kingdome come.
Paul Martin for the eggs.
Hitch to put me to sleep.
Malkin because I like his riverdance... plus I need a token euro.
To be honest I would screw them all over and just take Heidi Androl ."--Is that you Patrick O'Neal?

"Tim Thomas no question. You have to think he has a freaking underground fortress decked out with guns, ammo, survival equipment, Ron Paul for America campaign posters, canned food and porn."--Yea, but you have to hang out with Tim Thomas.

"George Parros 

What the fuck is this?

"I absolutely despise the Canucks, but I'd have Booth in my group for sure. The guy knows how to kill things with guns."--As stated previously on this blog, David Booth is amazing.

"I think people are overrating big guys like chara or scott, if it only takes 1 bite to be infected they wont last long in a close quarter battle, especially given how hard zombies are to kill."--This guy knows an odd amount about zombies. Pretty sure he's creating them in his basement, and will release them into society.

"Heatley, Bouwmeester, Gomez, Arnsason and Iginla (for the first two months of any season). Their lack of heart would make them fit in and potentially create a cover that would cloak my heartbeat & warm blood."--Ouch.