Saturday, March 31, 2012

Flavor of the Week: Gabriel Landeskog

 Flavor of the Week is a feature on OGOP that will focus on one NHL player and what makes him crush worthy/completely objectify him. Warning: this post is girly and shallow! But I promise it will be semi-informative, maybe. This week we will be focusing on Colorado Avalanche Left Wing Gabriel Landeskog. 
"YES! I'M FLAVOR OF THE WEEK! WOOOOO!"


Monday, March 26, 2012

Stupid Shit I Found on the Internet: Ilya Bryzgalov is Fucking Awesome!



Ilya Bryzgalov is nuts, we know that. He's a good kind of crazy though, he's the kind of crazy that makes Internet gold. Like these memes that came out after his three straight shutouts.
Ilya heff iPhone.

His thermos must be getting really lonely.
Then of course there's this random gif of Bryz giving a bobble head impression. Of course since the Internet is awesome, it's been mashed up and made even crazier.



Yes people these exist. There are awesome humans out there who's sole purpose is to create stupid shit like this for me to show you guys. Thank You. I hope no one got a seizure looking at these.
Oops sorry Bryz!

This is just a really random pic of Max Talbot. Seriously I have no idea what he's doing. He's probably drunk.

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Flavor of the Week: Erik Karlsson

 Flavor of the Week is a feature on OGOP that will focus on one NHL player and what makes him crush worthy/completely objectify him. Warning: this post is girly and shallow! But I promise it will be semi-informative, maybe. This week we will be focusing on Ottawa Senators Defenseman Erik Karlsson!
Erik Karlsson reacts to his selection of Flavor of the Week. This shit is a huge honor, seriously.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

OGOP Playoff Push Drinking Game!

The push for the playoffs can be a stressful time for NHL fans. The parity in the league is at an all time high, and there are going to be very good teams who miss the playoffs because of it. So what's a fan to do? How can fans relieve some of that stress? Drink or course!
He must be a Columbus fan.

But don't just drink for the hell of it, make it a game! I'm here to help you in your sweet demise into alcoholism. I know what can I say I'm a giver.

First off this game is for fans of teams who are battling for a playoff position, so St.Louis and Columbus fans don't really need to worry about anything. But fans of teams duking it out for that 8th spot will definitely be in dire need of this. There are some rules however:
  1. Pick out a drink of choice for the game. Whether you're a beer lover (like me), wino, or going for the hard stuff it's best to pick one beverage and stick with that all night.
  2. Pick out which things you're going to drink to. It's best to start with just one and work your way into your alcoholism.
  3. Have fun, remember that's why you watch this STUPID TEAM!!!!!!!!

Alright Let's jump right in!

His team is in 11th, but only 1 point out of 7th. It's complicated.


Take a Drink (the basics, for the newbie)
  • Every time your team scores a goal, yay!
  • Every time your team let's up a goal, fuck!
  • Every time your teams goalie makes an amazing save, because he's saving your teams ass!
  • Every time your team wins in regulation, cause damn that feels good. 
  • Every time your team goes to overtime, bonus if they give an opponent near them in the race a point, because well shit.
  • Chug the whole thing if your team losses, bonus if it's regulation, because well you're fucked.  
"The goalie let in a goal from center ice???!!!!!???????"

Secondary Drinking (For the more advanced alcoholic)
  • Take a drink every time a team near you in the standings wins their game. Dammit.
  • Take a drink when a team near you in the standings loses their game, FUCK YES!!!!!
  • Take a drink when your team is in the playoffs at the end of the night, success!!!
  • Chug the whole thing if your team won their game, but still isn't in playoffs, GOD DAMN MOTHERKJNSAJNCBSKBSVMJOIFVHLESF.
This is what happens when your team blows a three goal lead in the third.

Deep Cuts (warning do not attempt this shit unless you really have a drinking problem)
  • Take a drink every time your team scores on their own goal.
  • Take a drink every time your goalie let's in a soft goal.
  • Take a drink every time your teams turns the puck over and it results in a goal against.
  • Chug the whole thing if the opponent wins the game in the final few minutes of the game. Bonus drink if your team had the lead and blew it. 
  • Take a drink every time your team scores a hilarious goal on an opponent.
  • Take a drink every time a defenseman on your team scores a coast-to-coast goal.
  • Take a drink every time your team scores an empty net goal, because it's in the bag baby!
  • Chug the whole thing if your team has a comeback win, because FUCK YES PLAYOFFS!!!!!
  •  
Fuck Yes.



Sunday, March 18, 2012

Flavor of the Week: Jamie Benn

Flavor of the Week is a feature on OGOP that will focus on one NHL player and what makes him crush worthy/completely objectify him. Warning: this post is girly and shallow! But I promise it will be semi-informative, maybe. This week we will be focusing on Dallas Stars Center Jamie Benn! 

Jamie's teammates rush to congratulate him on this monumental achievement.


Thursday, March 15, 2012

Stupid Shit I Found on the Internet: The Dallas Stars Beauty Shots

OK I find a lot of interesting things on the Internet, but I really have no idea what these are. Don't get me wrong hockey players in suits it's always sexy, but these photos are just plain weird. Maybe it's the weird sepia coloring, I don't know, I'm very confused. There's literary no theme to the pictures either, if anyone really knows what the fuck these are supposed to be let me know. I'm genuinely curious.
What are they going for here? Like a 50's thing? Weird.

What are you doing here Jamie? I don't get it. If these photos are supposed to look old, why is there a modern Dallas building in the background? It does not make sense.
First off Sheldon Fucking Souray my lord! However, I still have no idea what they're doing.

What is happening here? Why are they hanging out in the Haunted Mansion? Disneyland is nowhere near Dallas FYI.

Ribiero always looks like he's sick. And why are you in someones study?

Dallas has a black guy on their team? Wait is he black or is it the stupid sepia effect?

OK what? Yea I have no idea.

LOL is that Steve Ott? hahahaha OK now.

This photo has nothing to do with any other in the sequence. Why are you in a Bond film?

What are you doing here? What's happening?

Where is Burish here? Is he in the plane Morrow was standing in front of?

 1. No one else is even near a golf course in any other photo. 2. What is wrong with your hair?
Seriously I'm super confused. These photos don't make sense together. There is no cohesive theme to the pictures. The more I look at them together the more I just don't get it. Just because you use sepia it doesn't mean the photos look old. Why were these made? Why is Sheldon Souray gorgeous? Come on people help me out I feel like I'm taking crazy pills right now. I need to know why.

Monday, March 12, 2012

Flavor of the Week: Tyler Seguin

Flavor of the Week is a feature on OGOP that will focus on one NHL player and what makes him crush worthy/completely objectify him. Warning: this post is girly and shallow! But I promise it will be semi-informative, maybe. This week we will be focusing on Boston Bruins Center Tyler Seguin! Pre-warning this weeks Flavor of the Week is NSFW! Seriously you don't want your boss to see you checking out some on these pictures.


"Did you hear I'm the new Flavor of the Week? I'm so excited! Hug me! Wooooooooo!"

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

What's Wrong With the San Jose Sharks?



What the fuck is wrong with the Sharks? Seriously, they're barely holding onto a playoff position right now. The Dallas Stars are leading the Pacific Division right now. THE FUCKING DALLAS STARS!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know! In all honesty the Sharks haven't exactly been a force this season. The whole year has been very up and down for them. So what's wrong? I have my theories.





Slappy has secretly murdered the actual Sharks and replaced them with look-a-likes
This theory is completely possible. I mean he already killed Dany Heatley and replaced him with the person I like to call "Fake Dany Heatley". 
Actual Dany Heatley shown above.

Look at that goofy kid who was good at hockey.
Clearly this is a poorly constructed clone. I mean look they can't even get the eyes right. Damn you Slappy.

Look at that evil son of a bitch.

He lures you in with his promise of sexual favors, then he slits your throat.

Slappy drinks to forget what a crazed mass murderer he is. It doesn't help, it only increases his thirst for blood.
The Sharks are having a little too much fun off the ice
This is a common problem among pro athletes. I mean lots of money and fame equals chicks who will blow you, so it's understandable these guys would be a little distracted.
Douglas Murray will break these bitches.
Cool story Jason.

So drunk he can't even be bothered to open his eyes. PS nice vest.

Nice shirt. Jason Demers is a snappy dresser.

Nice team bonding exercise.


Stop taking photos of yourself on the beach and start playing hockey!

Sexy.

Word to the wise Daniel there's a reason Paul Bissonnette is a healthy scratch most nights.

It's totally party time brah!
 
Break-ups are hard. 
Very Sad. Their love was so true and pure.





It's OK San Jose you'll probably still make the playoffs and we all know you have such success.....
O yea.

HAHAHAHAHA


Look on the plus side Sharks are still kinda scary right? 
I'm sure this is many bay area ladies claim to fame.


Candy gram?


At least give the laser beams a try. I mean nothing else had worked yet.

Yes Jason Demers does have a drinking problem.

I'd be into seeing Douglas Murray wearing that. Maybe that's just me though.


Ummm....OK you know what maybe just start bombing now for a high draft pick.