WJC Gold Medal Preview: AMURICA!

I won't pretend to know anything about the players on either team, but I'm still doing a preview anyway because I have nothing better to do with my life. So let's start with Sweden!

YES A SALE AT IKEA!!! HURRY GUYS LET'S GO!!!

Look, I love Sweden. 364 days out of the year I want my life to be surrounded by everything Swedish. More than half of my ten favorite things come from Sweden. My house: totally stocked with Ikea shit. My wardrobe: practically sponsered by H&M. Then there's Gabriel Landeskog:

Just take me please!

OK Gabe might be like five of my top ten things, but whatever, Sweden is pretty fucking awesome. Today though...Sweden CAN SUCK IT!!!! This gold medal is for AMERICA!!!

You suck Canada!!!

The Americans will crush you Sweden! Seriously, how good was this team against Canada? It seems like they're just on a roll, and next up is the Swedes. Sorry fellows, not even your superior gene pool and robot players can stop these guys! I fully expect this to be what I see at the end of the game that I'm waking up at fucking 5 am to watch!

Give Gibson some love bitches!

Even Gabriel Landeskog seems to be doubting his own countries chances.

That's right Gabe, America!

USA!!!! USA!!!!