Thursday, February 28, 2013

Flavor of the Week: Colin Wilson

Disclaimer: This post may will contain NSFW material, and it's only to be viewed if you can handle hot hockey players being objectified. There will be swooning and guaranteed inappropriate language. Sure it's shallow and often crude, but what's fun about being serious all the time? There also may be actual hockey analysis, but that is not guaranteed. Enjoy! 

 Is this a goal celebration or Colin's reaction to finding out he's Flavor of the Week?
I think we all know the answer. 

Monday, February 11, 2013

I Will Cherish This Forever

 
I will never stop loving this. 
I love everything about it, I love everything it stands for. 
If I could marry a gif, this would be it. 
I want this to be shown at every major event of my life, because it's that important to me.  
I want this to be on loop somewhere at my house, and when I feel like shit, I can just look at this and be happy with the world.
I wish I could get this tattooed on my body somehow. 
I also want this to be shown at every Flyers game until the end of time. 
Shit, I want this shown at every sporting event until the end of time. 
I want to have this gif's babies. 
I want to grow old and gross with this gif. 
I want to do terrible things with this gif. 
Every time I see it, it makes me happier. 
I feel like this gif is my spirit animal. 
If I could only watch one thing until the end of time this would be it, and I would be happy about it. 
I love this. 
Thank you whatever omnipotent power that made this possible. 


Just in case you need even more amazingness click here and be prepared to enjoy hours laughing, crying, and feeling all sorts of amazing emotions you didn't know were possible. 
 


Sunday, February 10, 2013

Well...This is Sad...


I forgot my own blog anniversary. I know what a loser, I can't even remember important days about myself. My one year anniversary was January 25th, and the first real posts were about last years All-Star game. Oh well, this is the belated anniversary post...to myself. I hope everyone has enjoyed my nonsense here and at The Royal Half. Thanks everybody that has sent me nice messages, and shared my blog! Here's to another year of crazy!


Thursday, February 7, 2013

Fresh Meat!

Now that most teams are around 10 games into the season, which this year is close to a quarter of the season, let's take a look at some of the newbies making an impact.

Nail Yakupov
This is Nail...all the time.

I love Nail, he's just the best. I don't care if people think he's ridiculous or whatever. He's simply the most entertaining and exuberant player we've seen in a while. You do your thing Nail! 

Nail NEEDS your love Ales!

He's even ridiculously excited for his teammates goals. He's just the best.

This is my personal favorite celebration so far. Come to Nail people!
Damien Brunner

Damien is actually not a youngster like a few other guys in this post. He's actually 26, but he's just now making his mark in the NHL. The Red Wings foster these guys for years, I mean seriously what other team would leave a guy with this much talent off their roster? Crazy bastards! 

Holy...

Balls!

That Ladies and Gentlemen is called "The Panty Dropper"
I'm not embarrassed to admit that I want those sweet hands all over my body. I mean if he can do that with the puck, well then...Call me Damien! 

Cory Conacher 
Have you heard how he was undrafted, and that he was too small and people didn't give him a chance? No? Well you're lucky, because Pierre McGuire will NOT STOP SAYING IT! In all seriousness, good for Cory. I love a good underdog story, and I'm short so I always root for fellow midgets
Even with that much air, he's still barely at eye level with the fans.
No comment, I just really like this picture.

"Come here little leprechaun and let us pat you on your head."
 Mikhail Grigorenko
Mikhail is off to a little slower start than some of the other guys mentioned, but he's definitley made his mark so far. Especially after he scored his first goal, and well let's just say I want to be this guy.

This is the exact way I would look too if Marcus Foligno was hugging me.

Sexy Goal is Sexy.

JUMP ON ME LIKE THIS MARCUS I'M READY!!!
Marcus Foligno sticking his business in my face is my dream! I WANT TO BE YOU MIKHAIL!

 Jonathan Huberdeau  

Just in case you weren't aware, Jonathan Huberdeau is fucking awesome! I was hoping he would make the Panthers last year, but I'm more than happy with him lighting it up now! Watch the Panthers once in a while assholes, because Huberdeau is the shit! 

Look at those mother fucking rats! You made that happen Hubby!

This is the Panthers new "victory hat". FUCK. YES.

Screw you Winnipeg! Suck on Jonathan's nuts!
 

 Justin Schultz 
Is it really fair that the Oilers have this much fucking talent? No, it isn't. I fear for everyone in a few years. I guess it's cool that Schultz is there because the alternative was him playing in Anaheim. (PS: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA SCREW OFF DUCKS!)

That stick is going to be worth a lot of money on day. You cherish that shit!
WOOPS!!!
   
Dougie Hamilton 
Usually it's hard to figure out how a young defenseman will develop, but it's pretty clear that Dougie Hamilton is pretty fucking good. I really only feel bad for the Leafs...I mean come on guys. 


God Speed Dougie.
 
 Simon Despres
I figured I would talk about the two defensemen back-to-back. Simon has been so good the Penguins felt it was cool to trade Ben Lovejoy to the Ducks. (It's not cool by the way. Not because of Simon, but seriously the Ducks?) 
Most Talented Hug Ever.

I'll take a super Frenchie hug please!
 Viktor Fasth
 I can't really get around this one! While Viktor may not be a child like most of the other guys, he is having his big break. 4-0 with one shutout and a shootout win, he's pretty damn good so far! It pains me to say it, but damn he's awesome!
He even has his own NHL.com pun!  
Here he is doing his best Mike Smith impersonation!

Here he is doing his best Jonathan Quick impression! Damn you Viktor!
 Brendan Gallagher & Alex Galchenyuk 
They're paired because they're on the same team, plus I hear they're BFF's! Adorable! They also have the best pictures of any rookies so far! 
"LET ME LOVE YOU, MONTREAL!"


"Hold on guys, I gotta murder dis bitch with my stick!"

How does this even happen?
 Vladimir Tarasenko
You assholes thought I forgot about Tarasenko didn't you? Oh ye of little faith, I was simply saving the best for last. FYI this is where I make my Calder pick! Let it be known that I believe (barring tragic injuries) Vladimir Tarasenko is the 2013 Calder Trophy Winner. 
You score Vlady...You score.

Get your shit together NHL.com!

This was up the third day of the season. Vladimir makes this league his bitch!

Vladimir reacts to people saying he won't win the Calder.

Best. Calder worthy just because of this gif.